It doesn’t matter whether you are the CEO of your family, a multi-million-dollar corporation or both; you can still get overwhelmed and experience the symptoms of burnout. In my recent book, Drop the S: Recovering from Superwoman Syndrome, I discussed my own personal journey through burnout. The inner drive that we must excel often leads to overwhelming stress. Chronic stress can lead to burnout.
I am not alone. A recent survey of professional women in the US found that 42% experienced symptoms of burnout.
96% identified burnout as a major issue in our generation.
Reality is that women strive to be the picture-perfect Pinterest mother that looks amazing, hosts the best birthday parties in town, posts the most “liked” photos, and serves delicious, nutritious home-cooked meals in her neat, organized home after ferrying the kids to school and a host of extracurricular activities on time. This drive, while noble, can also be destructive, causing stress and anxiety that leads to burnout. Then add a career or any outside activities; this can be incredibly overwhelming.
Modern moms are all too often plagued by exhaustion, failure, isolation, self-doubt, and a general lack of self-love, and their families are also feeling the effects, too.
The proportion of professional mothers with “above threshold” levels of stress is 58% compared to the general population. This leads to higher emotional exhaustion rates: 24% for the general population, but 43% for professional mothers.
While many women don’t seek professional mental health treatment, they may still try coping. These coping methods aren’t always healthy, though. Of those women who experience burnout, 4 in 10 try to cope by isolating themselves from others.
24% of women admitted to drinking as a coping mechanism.
Bottom line: We are all at risk for burnout and need to streamline our lives to serve our needs and learn healthier ways to distribute our stress.
Let’s delve a little deeper. What is burnout? There are varied opinions.
In 2019, the World Health Organization (WHO) recognized Burnout Syndrome as an occupational phenomenon, stressing that this is not a medical condition but a syndrome resulting from chronic workplace stress that hasn’t been successfully managed. I disagree and argue that it becomes a medical condition as it progresses toward chronic burnout.
The WHO defines Burnout Syndrome as:
The WHO also estimates that between 32 percent and 60 percent of medical professionals suffer from Burnout Syndrome due to excessive workloads and high patient expectations. More women doctors are affected due to the compounding effect of home stress piled upon work stress.
For me, adrenal fatigue was a genuine medical disorder. My doctor had tried to find another cause, but at a time in my life when my cortisol levels should have been rising due to perimenopause, my cortisol levels were almost nonexistent. As I tried to be Superwoman, block out my issues, and be everything for everybody, the stress was killing me. It had exhausted my adrenal glands, depleted my ability to maintain my cortisol levels, and caused my extreme fatigue and a myriad of other symptoms. If you’re interested in my story, you can pick up a copy of. My book at DroptheS.com.
It’s important to note that adrenal fatigue isn’t the same as adrenal insufficiency, which is an autoimmune disorder. Adrenal fatigue means that the stress hormone levels are so chronically high that your adrenals are tired and telling you to eff off!
Many physicians argue that adrenal fatigue doesn’t exist. They think the symptoms attributed to this disorder are vague and can be explained by other medical conditions if you look hard enough. The Endocrine Society, the world’s largest organization of endocrinologists flatly says that adrenal fatigue isn’t a real disease. They encourage a complete workup to rule out any other medical issues that can cause the fatigue. In my case, there was no other explanation.
Whether you define burnout as a medical disorder or just a mental health syndrome, it’s real and is affecting way too many of our colleagues. This is causing the alarming increase in attrition rates of physicians and challenging the entire healthcare system.
Let’s talk just a little more about stress. There are two different kinds of stress: acute and chronic. Acute stress is short-lived. You feel it when you’re holding the steering wheel and almost collide with another vehicle or when a wild animal is chasing you. It helps you escape a dangerous experience or do something fun and exhilarating like skydiving. It’s not usually harmful and vanishes when the situation is over.
Chronic stress lingers over time. The triggers that cause the stress response are persistent, and your body is constantly releasing stress hormones like cortisol and epinephrine. This kind of stress strains the adrenal glands, which invariably leaves them incapable of meeting the body’s demands. Chronic stress is the most common cause of adrenal fatigue and burnout.
If your medical workup for fatigue showed no medical reasons for being so tired, or you and your doctor have determined that you aren’t depressed, then it’s time to consider adrenal fatigue or what I defined as Superwoman Syndrome in my book.
Adrenal fatigue is diagnosed with either a DUTCH test (dried urine test for comprehensive hormones) or a saliva cortisol test. I did the saliva test. The test involves spitting into a test tube over a twenty-four-hour period. Cortisol is measured four times—8:00 a.m., noon, 4:00 p.m., and between 11:00 p.m. and midnight. This test showed that I had almost no cortisol and a lower-than-normal progesterone level.
After receiving the diagnosis of adrenal fatigue, what can we do to recover? First and foremost, take it seriously. I waited until I was in the 4th stage of burnout before I really sought out any help. This is typical of most women. Let’s face it, we feel like we are ten feet tall and bulletproof. Until we’re not.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Phase: At this stage, it might not feel like anything is wrong! You love your job and your family, you’re building your ideal life, and you’re excited to keep doing more of it. You want to prove yourself to be the best, take on more tasks and productivity is through the roof! It’s easy to be optimistic about the future.
Stage 2: The Balancing Act: Things are still going well, and you’re happy to be doing what you’re doing. But you’re starting to notice that some parts of your life are stressful. You have a little anxiety before the tough days and look for ways to distract yourself sometimes.
Stage 3: Chronic Stress: Anxiety is now happening every day, because every day feels like a tough day. Your job and family feel like a burden, and you dread going to the office. You’re increasingly cranky and upset with your family. All your focus is on the stress, you’re procrastinating and finding it harder to meet deadlines. If you’re still making time for a social life, you spend more of it blaming others or talking only about your troubles.
Stage 4: Burnout Crisis: You’re feeling detached from life and work, without any sense of control. Your mental health is starting to suffer, and good coping strategies seem out of reach. Often you are drinking too much or have other unhealthy distractions. It feels like the only way to not breakdown is to make a drastic change, like retiring and running away from your family.
Stage 5: Burnout as a Lifestyle: By now, burnout has become a way of life and may start to show up as a serious mental or physical illness. You think of your job and family as only being a burden but getting away from it feels impossible. Worst of all, this has been happening long enough that it all feels normal. This is the stage where stress can kill you.
Most women do not seek help until at least stage 3 or 4. Recovery from burnout can take over a year in the later stages. Lifestyle, mindset, and behavior changes must happen, and it starts with your job and family life!
Realize you do not have to be Superman or Superwoman to have a successful life. We need to stop glamorizing the grind! Prioritize your health, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Shift your perspective to determine which aspects of your career and personal situations are fixed and which can be changed. Small changes can make a big difference in your stress level.
You are part of the problem. Time to reassess your role and work on your leadership style.
How do we do this? I will give you a running analogy. You cannot sprint a marathon, but that is often how we run our lives. We grind it out as hard as we can until we find ourselves utterly exhausted. It would be better if we treat our life like a HIIT workout. We have times where we grind it out, but then we rest, recharge, and then grind it out again. This means working on communication and systems. Teamwork. Better collaboration and delegation of tasks. Systems, systems, systems! You should have a process for not only every single task in the office, but in your household so you are enabling people (including your teenage kids), not doing it for them.
You should also rethink your schedule. Often, we will actually be more profitable if we try to do less per hour and focus on completing one task at a time. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but it’s true. Our production usually goes up when we use block scheduling and focus on quality not quantity. Block scheduling means that you group like tasks. You get a lot more accomplished when you’re not trying to multi-task.
Here are some thoughts for the women trying to juggle it all.
For the women struggling to find times to relax. For the women who don’t have a minute to themselves.
For me, the relentless striving, the overworking, the people pleasing, the perfectionism is just not worth it anymore. It was costing me my sanity and my health. The costs are too great. I’d rather be an imperfect, average, vulnerable, healthy, emotionally connected, self-accepted and deeply rested woman.
Do you feel the same, have you had these insights as well.
You can have it all, just not all at the same time!
You cannot be everything for everybody!
Remind yourself, it is difficult to pour from an empty cup. Work on refilling yours!
Let’s teach the next generation of women how to balance their lives and practices so burnout will be a thing of the past!
My new book, Drop the S: Recovering From Superwoman Syndrome, was published in August 2021! So exciting! Available in Paperback, Audiobook, and Kindle Ebook version. Please share my story with the women in your life and the men that love them!
Click on each book to be directed to their Kindle and/or paperback editions. Adding new titles as I write them! Enjoy! If you have ideas for new subjects, send me an email or comment!
I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please feel free to get in touch via email, I will get back to you a soon as I can.
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Fit, Fifty and Fabulous
Southlake, TX 76092
MaryBeth@fitfiftyandfabulous.com
It doesn’t matter whether you are the CEO of your family, a multi-million-dollar corporation or both; you can still get overwhelmed and experience the symptoms of burnout. In my recent book, Drop the S: Recovering from Superwoman Syndrome, I discussed my own personal journey through burnout. The inner drive that we must excel often leads … Continue reading Why is Burnout an Epidemic and What Can We Do About It?
